


5 Requests for Receipts

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: The Librarian (Movies), The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: 5 Times, Alternate Universe, Banter, Gen, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-09 02:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5521520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 Times Librarians were asked for their receipts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Requests for Receipts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [paranoidangel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/paranoidangel/gifts).



> Huge thanks to TL Vop for the beta!

"Do you have your receipts?" Charlene asked as the atrium door opened.

"D'you even have to ask?" The Librarian said, stalking past her desk empty-handed.

"Oh, just once I wish I didn't!" Charlene snapped.

"Then why d'you keep doin' it?" He called back.

Charlene sighed. "Out of a semi-delusional hope that one day a Librarian might change?"

A folder plunked down onto Charlene's desk. "Itemized, chronological, totals highlighted, and with accompanying explanations," Eve said. "Sorry; I got held up by a lost tourist upstairs."

"I knew the Library made an excellent choice the day it chose you!" Charlene said as Eve straightened her jacket. "You're the second-best Guardian I've ever seen!"

"Eve!" Stone growled.

"Coming!" Eve followed Stone to the elevator, but turned back before getting in. "Someday you'll have to tell me who your number one is!"

Charlene smirked. Not any time soon.

\----------

"Do you have your receipts?" Charlene asked as the atrium door opened.

"Why would we need those?" The Librarian asked cheerfully.

"Because I need to account for everything you bought!" Charlene snapped back.

" _Bought?_ " Ezekiel smirked. "Why would I have _bought_ anything?"

"Librarians do not _steal_!"

"No, we just _liberate_ historical artifacts from whomever already owned them without their permission," He replied. "That's in no way like stealing."

"That is different!" Charlene replied. "That is for the Library; not for personal gain!"

"And who has to reimburse my receipts?" Ezekiel said. "'Cause I'm pretty sure that's the Library. So who saves money if I don't have any? Say it with me now!"

"The Library." Eve said sarcastically from behind him. "Sorry; I got held up by a lost tourist upstairs." She quickly dropped a manila folder on the counter in front of Charlene. "Our receipts."

"Awww. You spoiled my fun!"

Eve began to gently shove him towards the bookshelf. "What have I told you about teasing Charlene like that?" She muttered.

"Not to?" Ezekiel's tone was unrepentant.

"You know, one of these days I'm going to let her teach you a lesson," Eve said as they entered the elevator.

"What could she do to me? She's like, older than-" The elevator doors closed before Charlene could hear what exactly he was going to compare her to.

Of course, the last time he had declared her older than Moses, so she didn't need to hear this week's specific example. With a sigh, she opened the folder and found all of their receipts, as well as a list of explanations in Eve's neat handwriting.

"Good Guardian," she murmured.

\----------

"Do you have your receipts?" Charlene asked as the atrium door opened.

"Um, I- you know I don't d- do well with keeping hold of things," The Librarian replied.

"I know that, dear. I was asking Eve." Charlene said, soothingly.

"Oh!" Cassandra looked embarrassed. "I forgot."

"That's okay. I've got them right here." Eve handed over a thick manila folder to Charlene and then gently wrapped her arm around Cassandra's shoulder. "Are you sure you don't want me to go back and get the wheelchair?"

Cassandra shook her head. "It smells like licorice."

"Okay, we'll just take it slowly then." Eve began to lead her Librarian towards the bookcase. As they deliberately made their way towards the Library entrance, Charlene opened the folder. Another hospital stay, another pile of forms and receipts.

Charlene hoped that soon they would find a way to cure Cassandra's tumor without costing her the amazing mental prowess that made her a good Librarian. And not just because it would stop raising their insurance premiums.

\----------

"Do you have your receipts?" Charlene asked as the atrium door opened.

"Hah!" The Librarian replied as he stomped past her, squishing with every step.

"Is that- are you- you're dripping on my floor!"

Flynn spun around, nearly slipping, and glared at her through his soaking bangs. "Shockingly, dealing with water sprites tends to lead to dripping on things!"

"You could have cleaned up before you came here!" Charlene complained. "Wait, did you say water sprites? This is cursed water? Now we'll have to get the floor ritually cleansed and re-polished! Do you know how much that will cost?"

Flynn threw up his arms. "You're complaining about the floor? What about my suit!"

"Well you can just _burn_ that!" Charlene snapped back. "And in fact the world might be better off if you did! This floor is _Venetian marble_!"

"Hah!" Flynn exclaimed again, turning back to the bookshelf.

"Don't you get that curse water on the bookshelf!" Charlene warned. "And where are your receipts?"

Flynn paused, dug through his pockets, and finally threw a wad of soggy paper onto the floor. "There! There are my receipts! Go get them ritually cleansed or whatever!" he complained. Then he spun around, defiantly triggered the bookcase, and stomped into the elevator.

The doors closed just in time to spare him from Charlene's flung letter opener.

oOo

"Do you have your receipts?" Emily asked as the atrium door opened.

"Receipts?" The Librarian asked condescendingly.

"Yes, the things you get when you spend the Library's money!" Emily snapped back.

"Oh, those." He waved his hand dismissively. "The Guardian has those." Without another word, the Librarian stalked over to the bookshelf and triggered the opening to the elevator.

A moment after it closed, the atrium door opened again, this time admitting a very annoyed Guardian.

Charlene stalked over to the desk. "Tell me again what the life expectancy of a Librarian is?"

Emily chuckled. "Not enjoying your new charge?"

Charlene rolled her eyes. "I can't believe the Library chose him!"

"In fairness, the Library chose many people; the former Librarian chose _him_ ," Emily said.

"Well in that case, I'd like to dig him up and shake him senseless!" Charlene stormed. She opened her purse and dug out the pile of receipts she had collected during their trip to Burgundy, handing them over to Emily.

"So, think this one will wash out of the Library?" Emily asked, neatening the stack of receipts.

"Oh, he'll do fine, once he realizes who is actually in charge here!" Charlene smirked. "Judson may be the new Librarian, but this is _my_ Library."


End file.
